Since I arrived, I’ve been wanting to write this post. All night long, I thought about it. I thought about the reasons why I wanted to take this getaway and how it affected those around me. There are good parts and not so good parts to taking a solo getaway, but at the start of mine, it seems worth it.
If you’ve been with me for awhile, you know I suffer from anxiety and depression. On almost all days I manage it well and you have no idea I even suffer. When my life gets stressful and I start to feel overwhelmed, though, man. . .watch out! I start to break down and I become obviously anxious and I’m just not myself. My husband knows I’m at that point when I start to cry a lot, I start to drink more (yes, I think it’s ok to drink but excessive drinking is NOT good) and I start skipping meals (also a no-no). When I started to get like this recently, something in my brain reminded myself that I have wanted to take a solo weekend getaway forever. And I remembered that my mental health is the most important thing (or should be) in my life.
Because I’m married, and I love my husband, I spoke to him about this idea. “Hey Hun, would you be ok if I took a solo weekend getaway?” Immediately he was on board with the idea. But I felt like I had to explain myself. I felt like I had to justify my wanting to go away alone. I laid out my reasons why I wanted to do this.
- My mental health is important – “It’s better than checking myself into a hospital.”
- I’m starting to feel overwhelmed with. . .well, life
- Work is great, but I wear like 6 or more hats and it can be a lot
- I love our pups but training Luna is wearing on my last nerve
- I need to get away from some of the negativity in my outer circle
He stopped me and told me if I needed this, then go. I didn’t have to give him a million reasons despite me feeling like I had to. After acknowledging my want to justify the trip, I started to think about why I felt that like I needed to give him a million and one reasons. I realized that going away by myself prevented him from having some peace and quiet. It would leave him on solo doggie parent duties with the pups. It looked like my needs were more important than his. And I realized I felt guilty for all of this. That guilt was compounding the feeling of overwhelm that was creeping in.
Thankfully, he knows my history and understands that sometimes I just need to go in a cave and not come out for a bit. I have his support and he’s amazing and he doesn’t need a million and one reasons from me. If you don’t, channel that inner support that comes from your heart and your soul. Or reach out to a friend, a therapist or a coach to help you. Ultimately, you just need to listen to what your soul is asking you to do and just go for it. No justification necessary!
And when I finally pulled the trigger, I booked this adorable AirBnB* in my state. It was like a studio apartment but even better. The place was an old carriage house that was turned into living quarters. It even had the original wood planks! It had everything I needed – a bed to sleep on, a kitchen to do some light cooking, a bathroom with a rainwater shower and comfy seating. What was even better was that it did not have a television. I know it sounds crazy, but I can live without a TV. I have my podcasts and I have Netflix so if I’m desperate to watch or listen to a program, I could. The BEST part is, the place would allow me to have me time without feeling like I was in a strange place.
When I got here, it was everything I thought it would be and more. This place made me feel like I was in my element. The fresh air helped with my mental state, I didn’t have any priorities, I didn’t have anyone asking me to do anything and it was quiet (except for the footsteps on the second floor apartment). The place is what I needed to “check myself in” and get some much needed rest and recovery. I even brought my yoga mat to help me with that. While it’s only Day 1 of being here, I had a pull on my heart to write this. I wanted you to know that it’s ok to take a solo getaway if you need it.
Life gets overwhelming sometimes and despite the COVID pandemic, there’s still a TON of pressure on us. Pressure to not make mistakes, pressure to have a persona that is perfect, pressure to have all our shit together and the pressure of trying to be your own superhero. It’s a lot sometimes. We have had a few friends check themselves into a facility recently and it breaks my heart because I wonder if maybe, just maybe a weekend getaway by themselves would work for them too. If you haven’t taken a solo getaway before, I highly recommend it. Go somewhere small, somewhere quiet and peaceful and somewhere you can be yourself, even if it’s just for a few days.
*Some links included are to our affiliates and Jenn Mullen may earn a commission on purchases made. AirBnB – Get $35 off your first trip with AirBnB.
**If you’re deeply depressed and experiencing thoughts of suicide, please call a friend, a family member or the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255. They’re available 24/7 and are there to help.