Mel Robbins always says “No one is coming”. And for awhile, I didn’t believe her. But then I saw something on social media that changed my life. It was a Reel (and I wish I could find it) where she was talking about motivation. Mel said no one was coming to save you. This statement got me thinking.
Mel said that motivation was a bogus concept. At first I immediately wanted to disagree. My gut tells me that motivation CAN be real. Where you get your motivation is what matters, though. That’s when it clicked. Most people get motivation from external sources. Talk about a light bulb moment. THAT is why Mel said no one is coming. THAT is why after my suicide attempt, I had to save myself. In fact, I did save myself. I found motivation within me to keep going.
So let’s talk about this concept of external versus internal motivation.
This is when you do things so that outside sources can praise you or give you accolades. Your make actions only so you can get the recognition or the reward at the end. External motivation is when you can finish a day and say “Look at me! Look what I did!”
The problem with external motivation is that it doesn’t last. It’s like a drug that wears off after a certain amount of time. You have to keep going back for more. And if it’s completely removed from your life, you may feel like you have no reason for being here.
On the other hand, internal motivation comes from inside sources. You do things for you and only you. When something goes well for you, you love how it feels – emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, etc. Caring about what other people think about you or how they feel about you is the last thing on your mind when you motivate yourself.
When you’re able to motivate yourself, you can go to sleep at night and your last thought of the day can be “I did something great today!” It’s not about what Susie or Johnny said about you. Having internal motivation is key because you’re going to have it more often than not.
No One is Coming is REAL!
When I made the attempt on my life, I had doctors examine me and a therapist that would ask me questions. But that was it. They didn’t save me. And I didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell them the actual truth about my life, what was going on or how I felt. I was afraid to tell the truth and air my dirty laundry. What people thought of me and what they would say was something that literally scared me more than anything else.
It wasn’t until years later when I was introduced to fitness and personal development that I would start to motivate myself. At that time, I was surrounded by people that supported my journey, who I was, where I had been and where I was going. The introduction to personal development was EXACTLY what I needed. It’s what changed my mindset and my mental outlook.
Think of yourself like a steam engine. The coal that feeds the train is the personal development and what gets you moving. Without that, the train would never move forward. Even though I was given coal, I was never told to move forward or keep going. I had to do that. With all that being said, I am NOT saying you have to live a life completely on your own.
What I AM saying is that you should seek advice, help and support when you need it. Once you get the advice, help and support you need, YOU must be the one to keep yourself on the tracks. Surround yourself with the right people and you’ll always have the fuel you need to move forward.