If you’ve never met me, you might see my posts, my pics and my videos and wonder how I got where I am. Here’s my story.
I was born an asthmatic. It’s funny [now] because the one thing I should have the innate ability to do from Day 1 is breathing. And I couldn’t. From early on, I was sick all the time, I couldn’t or didn’t want to eat because I didn’t have an appetite and my parents really didn’t understand what was wrong with me. Around age 4, they figured it out. After being in and out of the hospital just about every six months, my mother [who was a nurse] told the doctors she was going to leave me there until they figured out what was wrong with me. After some tests, they diagnosed me with asthma.
And as the oldest of two [I have a younger sister], I always felt a lot of pressure. Despite having this diagnosis, I always felt the weight on my shoulders of trying to be better, trying to set a good example and trying to impress my parents, my sister and the public. What I didn’t realize at the time is that my sister had it so much harder than I did. She had a few diagnoses that made it even more of a challenge to navigate life. But despite all of that, I was jealous. She got a TON of attention because she needed it and I was left to my own independence.
And being that independence can be a good or bad thing for some people. As I grew up, I tried to fit in every way that I could. I participated in sports like soccer and softball, I was in Drama Club freshman and sophomore year of high school and I spent a lot of time with the wrong people. And while I try not to pass judgement, some of those people were taking me down the wrong path. One that would take me in a completely wrong direction.
That path would lead me to severe depression and a suicide attempt. While everyone would look at me and see good things happening for me, I just wanted a way out. I couldn’t find my place in life, I never felt like I fit in and I definitely was feeling out of place. I was overweight and a tomboy so was bullied and looked down up by the same girls that I played soccer with. It was harsh and I hated it. I hated living. Literally. And back then, I didn’t even know there such a thing as a suicide prevention hotline. Honestly, I don’t even know it was a thing. After it all went down, my parents took me to therapy. I was granted 8 sessions from health insurance company. ONLY 8 SESSIONS!!! Yes, there was a stigma surrounding mental health at that time, but seriously. . .8 sessions is a joke! If I had more, I think my life would have been different. After the sessions were over, I had to be watched. I was with someone at all times and felt like I was being babysat. That is, until my parents felt like I was fine and that I was not going to make another attempt.
From then on, I kind of floated through life. I was coasting. I went to college, like people think you should when you’re done with high school, and still couldn’t find my place. In the first year, I changed my major 3 times. First it was Biology, because I thought I was going to be a Marine Biologist. But I failed chemistry. Then, it was Business Management. I figured it was the easy route and could help me get any job. But I hated how boring some of the classes were. I ended up settling on Psychology. I realized how interested I was in the brain and the mind and how we have the ability to change our thoughts almost instantaneously. I graduated with a BA in Psychology and still didn’t know what I was going to do with my life. But I had a bright light shine my way.
I met my other half. I met someone that made me feel important for the first time in a really long time. He pushed me to follow my dreams [whatever they were] and was supportive of me just wanting to continue to learn and grow. He encouraged me to follow the things that sparked a light in my heart.
The path I ended up following was one that led to a balanced and healthy life. From my schooling in psychology, I knew I wanted to help people in some way. I discovered a love for health and wellness after my suicide attempt and got certified as a health and wellness coach. But this was just a stepping stone. From that certification, I learned my key strengths and finally discovered how I could help people. I figured out that stress management, self-care and organizing my life was how I bounced back from that attempt and became a more confident person.
This whole entire journey is what led me to creating Just Live Mindfully, my coaching business, and creating resources and courses to help people organize their own lives. I wouldn’t change this crazy ride for anything because it led me to where I am today. As I look back, I realize that everything I went through was for a reason and that reason was to help me, help you. ❤️