For the past seven years, Christmas Day has looked the same: three houses, two trips back home in between to take care of the dogs, and one final trip late at the end of the night.
Each year, we wake up, rush to get ready, and then spend what feels like the entire day in the car. We drive from our house to stop one, and then back again. And then do it all over again two more times. At each stop, we’re trying to be present and enjoy ourselves—while our poor dogs sit at home alone all day.
By the time we finally get home, we’re exhausted. Overstuffed. Stressed out. And honestly? Kind of resentful.
Every year, I complain about it. Every year, I say to my husband, “This is too much. We need to change this.” And every year… nothing has changed. Until this year.
This year, we’re only going to two houses. And then? We’re hosting about 15 people at our house for Christmas Day. Is it more or less stressful? Honestly, it’s less because for the first time in seven years, I’m doing Christmas on my terms. And let me tell you—it feels really, really good.
Why This Year is Different
This year, I stopped waiting for someone else to fix it for me. And I stopped praying that magically, someone would hear me when I said, “This is a lot.” Instead, I took control and made the decisions for me.
Boundaries are something I’ve been working on throughout 2025, and this year, on Christmas Day, I’m actually sticking to them. I want to spend time with family and friends, but I also want my sanity. Not only for me, but also for our dogs, who are our immediate family.
Was it easy to finally put my foot down? Not exactly. But was it worth it? Absolutely. Here’s how I made it happen.
1. I Asked for What I Needed
This sounds simple, but it’s always the hardest step. For years, I complained and vented to my husband. I dreaded the holidays, but never actually asked for things to change. This year, I did. I said, “I can’t keep doing three houses. It’s too much. It’s always stressful, and we’re exhausted by the time the night is over. We need to do something different.” And you know what? People listened.
Here’s the thing I’ve realized this year: You can’t expect things to change if you never ask. Yes, it might be uncomfortable, and people might push back, but your mental sanity is worth the conversation. If something isn’t working for you, speak up. You deserve a holiday that doesn’t leave you burnt out and resentful.
2. I Was Selective About the Guest List
Since we’re coming home after house number two, we said we’d host a Christmas night. When we decided to do that, I didn’t want to invite everyone under the sun. Every extended family member, distant relative, or acquaintance doesn’t really need to be invited. Only the people closest to us. These are the ones we genuinely want to spend time with. They all know we have dogs, and they love them just like we do. That ended up being about 15 people. It might sound like a lot, but it’s actually really manageable. And it felt right.
At the end of the day (and especially around the holidays), I don’t believe you don’t owe anyone anything. You only have one life on this planet, and you should be allowed. to spend it with the people who fill your cup, not the ones who drain it. It’s not selfish, it’s self-preservation.
3. I Set Ground Rules
Even though we’re changing things up, we still have to go to two other houses to go to on Christmas Day. If I didn’t set boundaries around those visits, we’d end up in the same exhausting cycle. So I put time limits on how long we’re staying at each house. Does that sound rigid? Maybe. But honestly, I don’t care. Because without those boundaries, we’d stay too long, get home too late, and be too stressed to actually enjoy our own gathering.
If I’ve learned anything this year, it’s that boundaries aren’t mean. They’re necessary. And if setting a time limit on how long you stay somewhere is what it takes to protect your peace—do it. You’re allowed to come and go as you please and if that means prioritizing your own sanity, then it’s ok in my book.
4. I Cleaned My House (And Reduced my Anxiety)
This one might sound small, but it’s huge for me. You see, a cluttered house makes my anxiety skyrocket. When there’s stuff everywhere, I can’t think clearly, and my anxiety flares up, even if you don’t see it.
So this weekend, the one before Christmas, I cleaned. And I mean really cleaned. The floors were swept, and I let Sampson (our robot vacuum) do its thing. I scrubbed the counters with a little bit of elbow grease. And I even washed dishes. Yes, me, the girl who hates getting her hands greasy. Now, our house feels calmer. When people walk in, they’ll feel more welcomed. And that makes me feel calm, too.
If you have anxiety, like I do, remember, your environment affects your mental state. If the house is messy and stresses you out, take the time to clean it. Don’t only do this before hosting, too. You’ll feel better, and your guests will feel more comfortable. It’s a win-win for everyone.
5. I’m Not Putting Too Much Pressure on Myself
Here’s where I could’ve spiraled: overthinking the menu, stressing about decorations, creating an elaborate timeline, and of course, worrying about gifts. But I didn’t. I decided early on, this day is about the company, not the performance.
The menu will be simple. No five-course meal. Instead, we’re keeping it easy, delicious, and stress-free.
There’s no rigid schedule (except for when people start arriving). I don’t want to feel pressure to have everything perfectly timed like Martha Stewart. I want people can show up, hang out, and leave when they’re ready.
The gifts are optional, too. For me, it’s not about receiving something. It’s more about everyone having a good time being together.
This year, I’m letting go of the pressure and focusing on what actually matters—the people, the laughter, the connection. When you host, you don’t have to make everything perfect. The people who are there should be people you do not need to impress. You just have to create a space where everyone feels welcomed and loved.
This is What Taking Control Looks Like
For seven years, I let Christmas Day happen to me. I went along with what everyone else wanted and put my own needs last. And trust me, I paid for it—in stress, exhaustion, and resentment. This year, I’m doing it differently. I’m being intentional and creating a day that feels good, not draining.
If you’re dreading the holidays because they’re overwhelming, exhausting, or just not working for you, you can change it. Ask for what you need, be selective about who you spend time with, and set boundaries. It might feel uncomfortable at first. People might not understand. But your peace is worth it. You deserve a holiday that fills you up instead of draining you dry. So take control, make it yours, and do it on your terms.
