I was having lunch with a friend the other day, and we got into one of those conversations where we were complaining about social media. Specifically, about our belief that business owners were never really meant to be content creators. But it ended with us contemplating our journeys and deciding whether we should share some of the hard parts.
As business owners, we want to earn an income. But first and foremost, for us, we want to help people. Neither one of us wants to “perform for the internet every day.” But we know we need a presence online. That’s why I reminded her about authenticity.
The Expectation Game We Never Signed Up For
Somewhere along the way, we all got the memo that showing up means being “on” all the time. We think we need to post online multiple times a day and have a perfectly curated feed for the world to see. And while I love sharing my words of wisdom online, I’m certainly not going to sound like a professional speaker who’s been on the TEDx stage.
On top of showing up, we need to be the perfect team players for all we encounter. From being enthusiastic and available to being grateful for the opportunity to work like a dog until we’ve “made it,” we have this ingrained sense that we’re supposed to be everything to everyone.
And if you’re a parent, you’re supposed to do all of it! Document every milestone, plan a Pinterest-worthy party, and somehow look like you’ve got it all together while inside, you’re struggling to come up for air.
I can assure you, none of us signed up for this performance. Yes, some may want it now that it’s here, but some of us definitely do not.
When Showing Up Became Showing Off
I remember the exact moment I realized I was performing instead of just being myself. I was trying to write a social media post about productivity tips, and I kept rewriting it to sound more “professional.” Kind of like I was still in the corporate life. More like what I thought a successful business owner should say. But remember, I’m a corporate dropout.
The final version was polished, branded, and completely soulless. It got little to no likes, and one of them was me. That’s when it hit me: I was so busy trying to show up as who I thought I was supposed to be that I forgot to actually show up as me. The real me.
And this wasn’t just happening online. I was doing it when we went out with friends for dinner, and in client meetings, I was trying to sound more corporate than I actually am (or want to be). At networking events, I would pretend I had my act together when I was really just winging it because I had no idea what I was doing.
The Truth About Authentically Showing Up
Here’s what I learned from my cringe-worthy social media days:
Trying to be someone you’re not is a good way to fail fast, and authentically showing up as your true self is so much better! It isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being real.
When I started posting about my organizational obsessions (Yes, I genuinely get excited about a good planner!), talking honestly about the chaos of entrepreneurship, and living in the messy middle felt so much better. Now I’m ok with admitting that sometimes my best advice comes from whatever disaster I’m currently navigating.
That’s when something shifted. My audience grew, and no, it’s not huge—yet, but my client inquiries got better. People started treating me like an actual human and stopped thinking I was just a do-er. They realized there’s more to me than just being a virtual assistant. Like, I have two degrees and loads of experience to back it up.
But more importantly, I stopped feeling like a fraud every time I had to “show up” somewhere.
This Applies to Everything
This whole showing-up-as-yourself thing isn’t just about social media or business. It’s about how you walk into every room, every meeting, and every conversation.
At work: Are you the person who always says “sounds good!” in meetings, even when it doesn’t sound good at all? What would happen if you asked the questions everyone’s thinking but nobody’s saying?
In relationships: Are you agreeing to plans you don’t want because you think that makes you a good friend? Or saying you’re fine when you’re definitely not fine?
In your business: Are you copying what “successful” people do instead of figuring out what actually works for you and your life?
In your daily life: Are you trying to be the person who has meal prep Sundays and wakes up at 5 AM to journal, when you’re actually the person who thrives on sleeping in and does their best thinking at 9 AM?
What I Learned From My Own Hot Mess
I’m an Enneagram 1w9 who left corporate life because I was tired of pretending everything had to be done a certain way.” As a 4’10” former soccer goalie, I proved that being unexpected can be the biggest advantage. And I run my business with organized chaos, and my email marketing strategy is “sound like a human being.”
None of that fits the “professional business owner” mold, and that’s exactly why it works for me.
The moment I stopped apologizing for who I am and started showing up as myself—quirks, imperfections, big energy, and all—everything got easier. Clients who actually wanted to work with me found me and learned my expertise was something that would pay off. Not some polished version of what they thought they needed.
Here’s What I Want You to Do
Pick one area where you’ve been “performing” instead of just being yourself.
Maybe it’s that work meeting where you never speak up. It could be your social media where you only post the bright spots. Maybe it’s with your family where you always say yes even when you want to say no.
Just pick one.
Show up as yourself in that space. Not the version of yourself you think you should be. Just you. The real, raw, authentic you. Then see what happens when you stop performing and start being real.
Remember, we were never supposed to be content creators, perfect employees, flawless parents, or anything else that requires us to hide who we actually are. We were supposed to be ourselves—messy, imperfect, real humans who are figuring it out as we go.
And here’s the plot twist: that version of you is EXACTLY who the world needs.
The people who matter will welcome you with open arms. Opportunities that are meant for you will find you. The life you’re supposed to be living will finally be by your design.
So stop performing and start showing up. The real you is more than enough.
