UPDATED 04/12/2025
This post was originally written when my idea of taking solo vacations was born. Since then, I’ve taken many more. When I first wrote this, I had lots of thoughts around why I wanted to do it and how it was going to affect those around me. At the time, I has mixed feelings about going away by yourself. Now, I think it’s something everyone must do!
As someone that lives with anxiety and depression, I have my ups and downs. Most days, I manage it well and you have no idea I even suffer. But when my life gets stressful, I start to feel overwhelmed. I break down and my anxiety floats to the top. It becomes very clear that I’m not myself. My husband has learned that when my emotions are at a level 10 or I stop eating or drinking, I’m in that state and I need time to get out. Back in 2020, I knew a solo vacation was the right move. Yes, it was during the pandemic so please don’t judge me. I needed this for my own mental health.
Before I booked anything, I spoke to my husband. Because I’m in a relationship, honesty was necessary. We talked about the reasons why I wanted to do it and the logistics about where I would go, where I would stay, and would I be safe. I’m lucky enough to say, he was 100% on board from the moment I brought it up but I still felt somewhat guilty. I felt like I had to justify my reasons, like solo vacations were selfish.
- My mental health is important – “It’s better than checking myself into a hospital.”
- I’m starting to feel overwhelmed with life.
- Work is great, but I wear like six or more hats and it can be a lot.
- I love our pups but training Luna (our Ausshole) is wearing on my last nerve.
- I need to get away from some of the negativity in my outer circle.
He immediately stopped the runaway train that was in progress. He has been with me for a very long time and understands that sometimes I just need to go in a cave and hibernate. If I needed this, he said I should go. Despite me feeling like I had to make a case for this solo vacation, I didn’t have to. Going away by myself was going to help both of us. He was going to have some peace and quiet and I was going to get back to feeling like me.
Now as I wrote this, I am fully aware that many others do not have this level of support. It’s not common. If you don’t have this, channel the inner support that comes from your heart and your soul. And don’t shake your head. You DO have this! Alternatively, reach out to a friend, a therapist, a mentor, or a coach to help you. Ultimately, listen to what your heart and soul to see what it’s asking you for. You do not have to justify any of it.
After getting my husband’s blessing, I booked an adorable AirBnB in my state. It was a studio apartment in an old carriage house and even had the original wood planks! It had everything I needed—a bed to sleep on, a kitchen to do some light cooking, a bathroom with a rainwater shower, and comfy seating. What was even better was that it did not have a television. I know it sounds crazy, but not having a TV was exactly what I needed. If I wanted “noise”, I could pull up a podcast or watch Netflix on my laptop. The BEST part is, it was cozy so the place allowed me to have me time without feeling like I was in a strange place.
This place I rented made me feel like I was in my element again. Taking solo vacations was starting to look good. The fresh air helped with my mental state, I didn’t have any responsibilities, no one was asking me to do anything, and it was quiet (except for the footsteps on the second floor apartment). It’s exactly what I needed to “check myself in” and get some much needed rest and recovery.
Even though the pandemic is over (for the most part), there is still a ton of pressure on every one of us. Especially now when I update this post. There is so much pressure to not make mistakes, have our shit together, and be perfect all the time. Sometimes it’s just way too much. So here is my reminder to you: It’s ok to take solo vacations if you need it. If you haven’t taken one, I HIGHLY recommend you do it and test the mental health recovery waters. Go somewhere that’s quiet and peaceful, where you can be yourself, even if it’s just for a few days.
If you’re deeply depressed and experiencing thoughts of suicide, please call a friend, a family member or the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255. They’re available 24/7 and are there to help.
