This story starts back in March of 2023. That’s when my optometrist referred me to an eye surgeon for a cataract surgery consultation. I was born with double cataracts and a coloboma (basically a fancy term for a misshapen pupil), so I knew this would happen eventually. Little did I know, I also had a majorly inflamed retina.
Two months later, I saw the surgeon, and his first words to me were “I will not be doing your surgery and here’s why…” I think I blacked out after that. I was in shock. That’s when my world started to crumble. I knew my eye health was never great, but I didn’t realize it had deteriorated this badly. My retina was about to tear, and if I didn’t treat it quickly, I would lose my right eye. So, we made an appointment.
And a month later, I saw the retina specialist. Fear hit me hard—I felt nervous and had no idea what to expect. In the waiting room, I was the youngest person sitting down. I mean, I was only 42 years old and in my head, that was way too young to be having these issues. I was born with a double cataract and a misshapen pupil, but not the retina, so what gives?!
When she came into the room, she was a no bullshit type of doctor, and I immediately appreciated that. I could tell she knew her stuff and was here to take care of me. As she examined me and spoke in tongues, she formulated a plan in her head. And then she said that god forsaken word: “injection”. Looking back, I wonder if I looked like a deer in headlights, but what could I do? If this was the way I was going to save my eye, then I had no choice, right?!.
Initially, I received injections of a medication called Eyelea every month. But it wasn’t working like she hoped. I felt like a guinea pig in a lab, having procedures done to see IF something would work. When we kept seeing almost no progress, she wanted to take a different route—a steroid implant. Again, that fear rose to the top. I knew it would be another injection, but this time, one with a trigger. Seeing the needle and hearing the trigger press cranked up my anxiety. But I trusted her with my life and knew she was there to take care of me, so I said yes. And it ended up being the best decision.
It’s been a year since I’ve had Eyelea injected in my eye. Yes, I’ve had steroids since that time, but the steroid capsule dissolves over time, so it doesn’t stay long. And I’ve had a successful cataract surgery, with an amazing specialist who performs surgeries on people like me all over the world. And, fun fact, I even have a teeny bit of titanium in my eye to hold the new lens in place. If you’re thinking I’m a special case, you’d be absolutely right. But I’m glad I had this experience because my eyesight went from 20/120 to 20/60. Without this process, I’d still be mostly blind in my right eye.
Now that it’s been over two years since I started seeing my retina specialist, I took some time to reflect on my journey. I pulled a few life lessons from this experience, but to really get them, you need the story behind it.
Life Lessons from my Retina Journey
Life Lesson #1: Have trust and patience, even when you’re scared of the unknown.
Sometimes the only way forward is to have faith. Especially in the people who know more than you do. Even though I was scared, I knew I had to trust my medical team completely. Every instinct said to run from that needle, but ultimately it’s what saved my eye.
Life Lesson #2: My fear wasn’t telling me to stop—it was telling me to pay attention.
I carried fear with me into every appointment. Although I wasn’t sure if I was making progress, I kept going because I had faith that I was. I didn’t let my fear paralyze me. Instead, I used it as fuel to keep showing up, to keep saying yes to whatever procedure my retina specialist recommended, and to keep moving forward with treatment even when I was terrified.
Life Lesson #3: The hardest decisions can lead to the best outcomes.
From injections to surgery, each decision I had to make regarding my eye felt overwhelming in the moment. But looking back, the choices I made, especially the steroid implant, were the very ones that gave me the healing I needed. Throughout this process, I had support from those around me, and I could see a future where I could still see. While my gut kept telling me to run away, my heart told me to run toward these decisions, and I’m so glad I did.
While these life lessons sound like they can only be found in a journey like mine, I encourage you to think again. Whatever you’re going through, these life lessons can still apply. Trust the process and the people around you. Let fear be your guide and educator. And make those next right decisions, even when they feel incredibly hard. You’ve got this, friend!
