I say self-doubt should not exist, but it always will. Mine is 100% real. It creeps in and sometimes, it’s terrifying. If you’re starting to read this and thinking you don’t have any, think again. You may have it and don’t even realize it. And if you really don’t have any, I envy you.

I’m going to be totally vulnerable in this post, but feel it’s necessary. From the outside, everything in my world probably looks great. For the most part. I used to live in a way that I’d never let you see me sweat. Only a core group of people were able to see the real me. Flash forward years later and I wear my heart on my sleeve. I’m honest, cry in public, and don’t really care what others think. That doesn’t mean my self-doubt has disappeared, though.

Because I’ve practiced personal development for years, I know a lot about myself. I think I have self-doubt for a lot of reasons. The main one is perfectionism. With the people closest to me, I’m incredibly loyal and love them deeply. With them and anyone else, I usually put their needs above my own. I’ve always been this way, even as a kid.

As I’ve grown, I’ve gotten better and consider myself a recovering people pleaser. But I still struggle from time to time. Now, instead of jumping into something spontaneously, I sit on whatever it is, toy with possible outcomes, do a ton of research, and sometimes ask for advice. All to appease my self-doubt. Even for a decision as simple as buying new jeans. You might be reading this and think it’s totally strange. For me, this is normal.

It took me a long time to realize I had self-doubt. It took a lot of listening decisions and internal discussions in my head. If you can picture it, imagine an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. That’s what it looks like and they are in constant conversation. The only time they stop is when I practice self-care or go to therapy. If this sounds like you, here’s your challenge.

LISTEN TO THEM!

Yes, I’m encouraging you to talk to yourself. I promise you, it’s normal. When you hear their voices, find out what they’re saying. Think of like overhearing the conversation of an unbiased party. Take note of their thoughts and allow them to weigh in when you make your decision. What I’m certainly not saying is to take their word as fact. Listening them is going to be uncomfortable for awhile. It will take grace to allow your self-doubt come to the surface and you will need to be patient with yourself. Over time, you’ll be able to tell the difference between your thoughts and theirs.

Once you hear your self-doubt, you’ll need to deal with it. Practicing personal development is how I deal with it. From reading books to listening to podcasts, and even watching TED Talks, there are lots of ways to start. I just want you to start. Period, end. If you need somewhere to start, grab Jen Sincero’s book You Are a Badass. It was my gateway drug to finding a whole new me and saying buh-bye to self-doubt.

To wrap this up, I want to hear about your self-doubt stories. Share them so others know they’re not alone and to prove that you aren’t alone. Sharing your story is party of the journey, and it’s a very important one.