Sometimes I feel like I can’t say no. Other times I feel like I have to. Either way, that word never feels fun saying. And trust me, I know saying no can be good for your health. When you don’t use that word, you give yourself a chance of hitting something that no one wants – burnout. I’ve faced burnout a number of times and I can promise you, it is a very real thing. When I’ve been in the middle of a bout, it affects my mind and my body.

One thing I notice is that the United States and other countries have a very different outlook on stress and it may be because they very different lifestyles that us. They seem to have more time off, they take lunch without looking at a computer screen, and their diet is much cleaner. All this adds up to a healthier lifestyle. But one thing I did not see in my research is any information about saying no.

We know it’s hard to say no. We might feel FOMO (fear of missing out) when we say it. But it’s something that, if done regularly and mindfully, will help you live a life that has much lower stress levels. Initially, it’s not going to feel great, though. People will get upset, you might lose a friend or two, you might cause a riff between family members, and you might feel a sense of guilt. But saying no can be freeing. Here are a few tips to help you feel ok with saying no.

1. Remember what you want. – When you keep your priorities in mind, you can reduce the amount of guilt you have when you say no. If you have to go to an event, to work on a project for your job, or even just need to stay home and do the laundry, don’t feel bad saying no. You’r saying no to make room for your own personal yes.

2. Don’t be afraid to say no. – Most people don’t say no often because we’re afraid of hurting someone’s feelings or we don’t want to look like a bad person. But sometimes we have to do what scares us the most in order to feel ourselves. While saying no might be something that scares you, it will become easier the more you use it.

3. Ask yourself, “What am I saying no to?” – When you ask yourself this question, you’re able to get down to the real context of what you are saying no to. Whether you’ve been asked to do something or invited to a party you don’t want to go to, you’ll learn if it’s really important to you to say yes.

4. Know that you’ll find your tribe. – When you start to say no, you learn who is in your life for real reasons. I lost friends, offended people, and made others mad when I first used this phrase. I didn’t understand it but over the course of time, I’ve realized that people get mad because they’ve lost control. They don’t understand your situation when you say no but that is not your responsibility. Those around you that you say no to and stick around, those are people in your tribe.

5. Fake it until you make it. – Like I just said, it is going to be hard when you first start. It’s not supposed to be easy when you’re learning how to do something. In the beginning, you’re not confident using the word no so I say, fake it until you make it. Do it scared! Do it while you’re uncomfortable. The more you do it, the easier it gets.

Now, here’s your challenge – say no to at least seven people this week. Then, do a self-check. Ask yourself how you did. If you only said it to five people, don’t get upset; seven people is kind of a lot. Continue to practice and don’t give up.