UPDATED 05/10/2025
Dealing with change is hard. But it doesn’t always have to be that way. You can learn to deal with change in a way that is less stressful, with practice.
In 2020, we had to deal with a pandemic. This ultimately resulted in lost businesses, lost employment, and even lost lives. These were really challenging, hard changes that felt mostly out of our control. But even though much of what we remember is negative, there have been some positive things to come out of the pandemic.
Did you find a new hobby? How about start a business? Or improve your health and get more sleep? These kinds of changes are good and positive improvements for our lives. But even if you did have positive change in your life, you might still not love it when it happens.
Why Do We Not Like Change?
Many of us don’t like change and it’s usually because of one or two reasons:
- We lose control over the situation or the environment we’re in.
- The change forces us to lack or lose consistency in our life.
Which is it for you? For me, it’s about control. As a Type 1 on the Enneagram scale, I hate change because I like the idea of having things perfect. And when there’s change, I can’t always control the circumstances or outcome. I don’t have the ability to make sure things are perfect.
With change, there can be big and small changes. This whole concept is subjective. My husband and I were talking about changes and when I said a hair cut was a small change, he disagreed. His response was that a hair cut for a patient going through cancer treatment was life changing… And he’s right! Changes for me that I consider small could be huge to you and vice versa.
Finances is another example that involves change where we can have differing opinions. Think about debt. For some, debt is huge and for others, it’s very small or non-existent. When it comes to debt, paying off all of it could be a huge change while paying off just one bill could be a small change. Either way, you’re probably going to celebrate that accomplishment, right? Of course and usually it’s the small ones that you remember most.
Think about the emotions that come along with changes too. When we want something to happen, the emotions we feel are positive and enjoyable. On the other hand, though, when there’s a change we don’t want, the emotions can be of sadness or anger. It can feel like the change is being forced upon us. Regardless, you can deal with any change no matter how you feel.
Here are my tips for getting through change and coming out on top:
- Process your emotions as they come. – Yes, there will be a lot of emotions you experience—sadness, joy, happiness, fear, etc. With those emotions come reactions you might not be expecting. If you need to cry, do it. If you need to laugh, do it! Go through the emotion and feel them. If you try to push them down, they’ll just come up later on tenfold.
- Create a Pros & Cons List. – I love doing this because it works for any conflict you’re facing. When you create a list like this, in almost all cases, you have more items on one side or the other. After you’re done, you can create a plan and make moves.
- See the positives. – In any change, there is a silver lining. During the pandemic, many of us learned to slow down and start taking care of ourselves. Just before it started, I quit one job and moved on to another to give myself more freedom. That was my positive, but I had to look really hard to see it. You may too, but I promise you, positives are everywhere!
- Find a healthy coping mechanism. – Whether you love to run, read with a cup of tea, or journal, a coping mechanism is a must. But it must be healthy! Don’t go out and eat or drink your pain away because that doesn’t benefit anyone. The activity you choose should be energizing, help you clear your mind and see things as they truly are, without emotion.
- Be open to the change. – You don’t have to like it but being open to change is helpful. It makes the virtual pill easier to swallow. When you’re open to making shifts, you see both sides of the equation and understand the change is happening for a reason. It might take time for you to see this, but there is a reason. Whatever it is, be open and willing.
Without change, we wouldn’t have new technology or bigger and better cars for us to use. We also wouldn’t have our own personal growth journeys. Change is inevitable and will always be here (just like stress) so instead of fighting it, go with it. In almost all cases, you will be fine, if not better, in the end.
