UPDATED 03/03/2025
Keeping up with the Joneses is not everything it’s cracked up to be. I’ve always compared myself to others, but I’m not sure why. The saying “Keeping up with the Joneses” has been burning a fire in me lately. It’s burning so hot and bright that I had to share my thoughts with you.
We all have those moments, right? The ones where we compare ourselves to someone else. We may even have times where we compare our situation to something else. For most people, these periods pass. For others, the action of comparing sticks.I’m kind of in the middle. I have phases where I compare just about everything to others. The strongest comparison for me, though, is where I’m at in life.
When I cannot seem to get out of that phase, life gets harder. Every morning I wake up, groggy and needing my coffee. And in most cases, I desperately want to stay home. I don’t want to leave my house and I don’t want to go to work. Being around people just seems exhausting too. Despite these feelings, I adult. I get up, shower, get dressed, and do what I’m supposed to do. Even now as a small business owner, this reigns true sometimes. Why do I get stuck in this phase? The actual reason feels unknown but I realized something. My internal feelings affect how I perceive other people.
I used to be around a lot of people throughout the day. Some we like and others we don’t. The people we’re around can make lots of money or only a little. They can have incredibly great fashion sense and others, not so much. You might even see some in an amazing car and others might drive the low-grade model. My point is, we’re all different. We are unique individuals and that’s what makes each of us special.
What I noticed was that how I felt about my own life, isn’t as great as I would like. Don’t get it twisted, I have everything I need to survive, but I don’t have everything I want.
All my life I’ve been a people pleaser. I like to make others happy and put everyone else before myself. I feel like I have to look a certain way, act a certain way, and talk a certain way to fit in. The bottom line is, I’m not myself in a lot of situations. And by trying to be a different persona all the time, I’m ultimately trying to keep up with the Joneses. Let me tell you, it’s not working. I’m getting burnt out, frustrated with everyone around me, feeling lost and alone, and I’m not keeping up. My personal frustrations can even take over at times.
How Do You Stop Keeping Up With the Joneses?
For starters, remind yourself you can only get better and improve. Here’s my recommendation for what to do next:
- Start being yourself! – You do you, my friend. Workout in the mornings, followed by a 10 minute meditation, and end the day by journaling or reading for 30mins. Everything else in between is just adulting with a side of fluff.
- Schedule coffee dates – Whether it’s a coffee date with yourself or someone else. You get to sip your salted caramel latte, be with your thoughts or enjoy conversation you’ve been missing out on.
- Start speaking up – If you’re an outgoing introvert, you probably like to be with people and have fun but I don’t speak up when I should. When something isn’t feeling right or isn’t working, you wait until it breaks or blows up. Instead, just use a teeny bit of courage and have a conversation. Simple as that.
- Remember this saying and have it on repeat – Comparison is the thief of joy. I first heard Danielle Redner from Stella & Dot say this and I’ve never forgotten it. When you allow yourself to compare, you allow your joy to be stolen. This ultimately leads to unhappiness and you don’t want anyone to steal your joy.
- Rely on those around you – Instead of trying to do it all, utilize those around you and ask for help when you need it. Laundry is a perfect example. I like to do that chore [because of my OCD], but I don’t always have the time and can’t afford to pay someone to do it for me. Instead, I’ll ask my husband to help.
Keeping up with the Joneses isn’t always the best thing to do. If you’re trying to, I want you to know you’re not alone. If you’re trying to, evaluate your situation and see what changes you can make. It will take time, but I know you can do it.
